物事への「優先順位の付け方」というのは、「その人の価値観そのものである」と近頃とみに感じています。私は能力開発を受けて以来、「今までは行き当たりばったりでやっつけていたことを、何からやるのか?今日絶対やらなくちゃいけないことって何か?」という優先順位付けを大切に考えるようになり、日々の計画や振り返りを重要視できるようになりました。
そして我が娘bianを見ていると、彼女は非常に子供らしく気ままに行動が決まっていくのがほほえましいです。まるで庭先で遊ぶメイちゃんのように・・・おたまじゃくしを捕まえるためにバケツを探しに行ったのに、底抜けバケツの穴から庭を覗いたらドングリを発見、バケツを投げ出してドングリを集めだしたと思ったら出てきたトトロを追いかけて・・・まさにアレです!(笑) たった今「しっこした~い」と言っていたのに、トイレでズボンを脱いだトコロでふと思い出して、しっこに付き添ってもらう人形を探しに行き、そのまま人形の箱の傍でパンツ一枚で遊んでいるかと思うと3分後にはhikaruと布団の上で跳ねて遊んでいるような・・・(君のしっこはどこ行った?!>_<)
3歳の子供には時間の感覚も無いから、「自分が今から行動する一つのことに何分かかるから、まずはこっちのことからやろう」とか、「もうすぐ○○の時間だからそれまでに××は出来るな」とか、「あと1時間しかないから△と□は出来るけど、●と■は間に合わないから後だな」などが、もう笑えるほど、いーっっさい★判りません!いつ頃から判るようになるんだろう~と私は今のbianに気長に付き合っていますが、実は昨今の小学高学年にも、朝の身支度に自分が何分かかっているのか、だから何からするべきか、が判らずに親が朝からガミガミと「早くしなさい!遅刻するわよ!」と言っているらしいです・・・(^_^;)
地球上の全生命体に等しく分け与えられているのは「時間」です。bianに最近言っているのは、「時間は待っててくれないし戻ってこない、人からはもらえないし人にもあげられない、取っておけないし先にももらえないモノなんだよ」ということです。1日は24時間だとか60分で1時間だとかは説明しても3歳児にはまず判らない「ただの数字の感覚」なので、その前に判って欲しい「基本的な時間の感覚」として教えることにしました。
bianは「今一番先にすることは、手を洗うことだね!」とか「えっと、父ちゃんを迎えに行くためには、まずbain号(←自転車)の鍵を用意することだね!」とか「やりたいことがイッパイあるなら、まず一番にやらなくちゃいけないことからやって、それからやりたいことをやればいいんだよね」とか言っています。
もう私からの入れ知恵以外の何者でもない「謳い文句状態」なのですが(笑)、とても大切なことだと私は思っています。
もちろんその際、私から「いや?まずは●○でしょ!」とか「違う違う!△□からだろー!」といった指図はしません。ちょっと違うかな~ということを一番にしようとしていたら、「うーん、そっちが先かぁ・・・じゃぁ、多分■●は出来なくなりそうだけど、イイ?悪いけど時間が足りないんだ。母ちゃんには時間は増やせないからね~」と言うと、bianがもし■●の方がやりたかった場合は「じゃぁ■●からやる!」とサッと切り替えるし、自分で今違う方を選んだ結果として■●が出来なくてもイイやと思った場合は「うん、イイよ」と認めます。
これで「後でやりたかった~とか泣くなよ?!知らないよ~」といった脅しや、「だってあなたが■●を先にしないからでしょ?!自分のせいじゃん!」といった後からの教えなど、親子間の無益なやりとりは、まず無くなります。
時間の感覚はそれこそ時間を掛けて養ってもらわないと、彼女自身が生きる大切な人生の、とても価値の高い財産の一つであることに気付かないまま年齢を重ねてしまうのは、非常にもったいない!と私は思うので、言葉を繰り返す「反復学習」で身に付けてもらっています。
「時間は、待っててくれないし戻ってこないんだよね?あと、時間は人にあげられないし・・・?」「人からもらえないんだよ!」「あとはなんだっけ?」「え~っと、時間は・・・」「取っておけないし?「先にもらえない!」と歌のように徐々に覚えてくれています。言葉自体は3歳児には把握できる範囲内で簡単ですので、内容の理解の程は知りませんが「お金」の前に「時間」を覚える一つのステップとして、繰り返している真っ最中です。
「努力の結果が出るのは、かなり先」なのが、全てにおける子供との付き合いです。
4歳で時間が判って欲しいとは思っていません。10歳くらいまでに「時間は取り戻せないし待っててくれない、あげられないしもらえない、取っておけないし先にもらえない」と理解してもらえれば幸いかな。
余談ですが、昨晩初めて「でもね~、実はお金で買えるんだよ~」と言ってみたら、「どゆこと?!」と楽しそうでした。お金の掛かる特急電車や新幹線に乗れば早く着くから、時間を買っているようなものだね、という説明をしたら、判ったのか判ってないのか・・・リアクションは「ふーん」。でも、なんだか嬉しそう。「時間の新しい側面を知った!」といったワクワク感がbianから漂ってきて、「知識を小出しにするのもイイかもしれんな~」と思ってしまいました。(基本的に私は知識の出し惜しみはしないのですが、子供を特例で混乱させても悪いので、「特別なパターン」は余り言わないのです・・・^_^;)
あなたは、時間をどう捉えていましたか?
少しならお金で買えるものだとは軽く思っていたり、増やせるものじゃないしもらえないし、取っておけないし待っててくれないことは、例え無意識でも、もちろん知っていたりしましたよね?
ではあなたは毎日の時間を、どれだけ大切にして暮らしていますか?
日々の小さな時間を「自分の重要な人生の一歩」と捉えて、大切なものを大切にして生きていますか?
もう戻ってこない1分を、1時間を、1日を、悔いの無い過ごし方で生きられましたか?
だから私は、テレビを見ないのです。何も考えずにただボーッと時を過ごすことはしたくないから。
だから私は、子供と楽しく豊かな時間を過ごしたいのです。子供に怒って自分にイライラすることで無益な時を過ごしたくないから。
だから私は、少しずつでも、睡眠を削ってでも、このブログに投稿するのです。出来るだけ多くの方々に、私と同じように出来るだけ豊かな時間を過ごしてもらいたいから。
時間は宝物です。子供の時間も宝物です。
世の中の多くの母親は、自身のの時間と子供の時間をリンクさせて生きています。母から子へあげているワケでも、子から母へもらっているワケでもないのです。これはもう、相互リンクです。(笑)
親子が同じ時間を接して過ごすことで、お互いの時間がより豊かになる・・・そんな親子の時間を、人生の共有を、あなたも楽しみたいと思いませんか?(^-^)
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